Thursday, 19 September 2013

Never Mind...

Out of all the songs i have heard in my life, this song in particular... has a level of emotion which transcends all, and breaks right through you. This song i believe can easily be placed side by side to the very great "I will always love you"... It personally means so much to me yet i have always wished to meet Adele just to tell her... No matter who he was or how great it was - having it end wasn't a bad thing after all as it made you the most famous and the most heard singer in the shortest time and not only this, but the world sympathized and cried for you... Congratulations - whatever it is you promised while "rolling in the deep" you managed to make it happen...

I leave you to remember - Someone like you:
(this version here i believe is the best i have heard - Genuine!)

I heard that you're settled down
That you found a girl and you're married now
I heard that your dreams came true
I Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you

Old friend, why are you so shy?
It Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light

I hate to turn up out of the blue, uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me, it isn't over

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you, too
Don't forget me, I beg, I remember you said
Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead
You know how the time flies
Only yesterday was the time of our lives
We were born and raised in a summer haze
Bound by the surprise of our glory days

I hate to turn up out of the blue, uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me, it isn't over

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you, too
Don't forget me, I beg, I remember you said
Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead, yeah

Nothing compares, no worries or cares
Regrets and mistakes, they're memories made
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you
Don't forget me, I beg, I remember you said
Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead

Thursday, 25 July 2013


I left you memories in every corner, for you to remember. Look around and cherish every nice thing i made. Pray for my soul and remember the good, and know, that you shall never come across a spirit as mine, so look deep inside of you for every single letter of my name i have left in your heart. I have yet not left all the memories i wanted to , but if it is that much you aspire for than this is as much as you shall get.

Nine and One And's

And some have cold hearts, harder than rock. For they will see you sob and gain all the pain, will smile and walk away.

And some are restless, they will not let go, they will fight for what they believe in for there is nothing more worth than a soul.

Friday, 26 April 2013

عن ابتسامة

ليست كل إبتسامة مصدرها سعادتنا، فربما إبتسامتنا نابعةٌ من حزن دفين اثرنا أن نبقيه بداخلنا و لا نزعج من حولنا به. وإن زارنا الفرح نضحك ونتمسك به جيداً، قدر استطاعتنا، فإنه لراحلٌ، وهنالك سوف يترك مكانه فراغ سرعان ما سوف يملؤه الحزن الذي دفن عميقاً، فلنقل الحمدلله ونمضي مرفوعي الرأس ممشوقي القامة.

Monday, 22 April 2013

Remembrance and Gratitude...what are they?

I was staring at the ticking clock, asking myself? Why is it ticking, and where has the past minutes gone? The past hours? What about the past centuries and millenniums? Where is everyone.
So today is yesterdays tomorrow? Interesting, so I don’t own but this moment, and it has gone already? I own nothing then. You do not own it until you give it. It makes sense then...Or not...
it doesn’t matter.
I have created existence to be known
He said,
It is very important to ask yourself, what is the purpose of life, only then, will you be able to start truly demanding the reason, and start actually living.
We are all dead bodies waiting to be buried

Wake up!!!
Live the moment, live the second, for this is the reality you own.
It is the only valid truth, time is endless, there is no past and present and future, it is only now...NOW IS THE TIME, NOW IS THE PLACE
We are dwelling in our ignorance, and greed, and the first reason for all our miseries and sicknesses is ARROGANCE.
True... arrogance made Cain kill Habil.

Arrogance is the reason for our greed, it is why the ignorant remains living in denial, it is why the dead remains dead by choice and action.
Let us all chose to live. How can we do that? It is in each and everyone of us, read your own book, open your mouth and stare at the mirror.
You have 20 molars, out of 32 of your teeth. Molars are for grains, this tells you how much grain you should be eating, only 4 incisive teeth, for protein and fruits.
If you chose to lead a life, you must make one, you already have one, you have the tool, you have the body, yet you chose to feed it dangerous fuel, no wonder diseases have increased greatly in kids and teenagers, it is not only what we eat though, it is with what we eat too.
Dentists know the truth, yet most of them dare not to reveal it. They wont tell you the tooth filling is full of mercury and toxins, that cause cancer.
Most of us have tooth fillings since we were still kids, and we use these teeth to eat food every day, so it is what we are eating and with what we are eating that is killing us.
Add the INTENTIONS before all of that, and you have the full catalogue to the sum of our problems. A thought is a destiny they say, and our thoughts come from our Intentions DEEDS ARE BY INTENTIONS he said.
Corrupt intentions make corrupt thoughts make corrupt decisions that make corrupt destinies.
Arrogance is somewhere in this process as a result of the ARROGANT I.
So now we all know. If you are reading this, then you have the answer between your very hands
You own your destiny you own your health, you own this moment.
Change yourself this moment, so that you can have a better now tomorrow.
Whatever beings there are in the heavens and the earth do prostrate themselves to Allah (Acknowledging subjection),- with good-will or in spite of themselves: so do their shadows in the morning and evenings
Holy Quran~ Al Rad 15

April 9, 2010 at 3:26am

Saturday, 20 April 2013

One Hand Clapping

When one hand claps, and no other sound will disturb.
When silence is the holy music produced through the empty flutes.
When sound and light are one in essence and one in magic.
People will come to know that the truth is one, yet cannot be said or told.
It cannot be explained....You cannot explain what light is like, you must show me light in order for me to experience. If you describe light, you will not be fair to must be experienced and witnessed.
So try not to explain what the truth is, just experience it in silence...and through silence you shall become one with the truth, and you will be the living truth.

April 13, 2010 at 2:02am

Wednesday, 17 April 2013

The True You

You are everything. It is within you that the whole universe dwells and exists... Your value exists within you, in what you are, and what dwells inside, not what you are made of or look like. You are everything...

You are the carrier of the universal consciousnesses, you are the hands of god on earth and in the universe, you are worth everything, you are everything. Your value is not granted to you by anyone, no matter who they are, or how important people think they are,  you do not obtain your value from someone like you, you are born with it. Any reward or merit given to you is nothing but a confession of your previously given uniqueness. Do not wait for anyone to define you or place you in a category, you are your own master, you are your own definer and your definition.

The understanding of your reality, negates anyone's claims in owning you. Your lover does not own you, and no you do not become something once you are loved by someone, you were something long before, still are, you are everything. The real challenge is to know who you are, and to start loving yourself as soon as possible, before anyone loves you. When you love yourself you appreciate yourself and you become thankful for who you are and how you were made. Once you love who you are, people's love will follow, it will then be insignificant and then, your self appreciation will not be dependent on the love of others but on your own self appreciation. When you love yourself you will learn how to love others. Only then will you be able to do it honestly and sincerely. Only then will you know for sure that you are everything.

Monday, 15 April 2013

الصندوق وصل

وفد الصندوق وصل. وفد الصندوق التفى وفد الجبهة. وفد الصندوق التقى فلان عضو الجبهة اياها. و فد الصندوق قابل علان برضو من الجبهة اياها. محدش فاهم حاجة. وفد الصندوق عايز ايه من الجبهة؟ محدش فاهم حاجة. الطرف الاخر اعلن انه محتاج يتعرف. الطرف الاخر محتاج يعرف اكتر. الطرف الاخر هو الصندوق ذاته. و الصندوق مش عاجبه الوضع. 

الصندوق يسمع اكثر مما يتكلم. الصندوق هو الطرف الاخر. فى تساؤلات... فى مبدأ... لكن مع وجود الصندوق, محدش فاهم حاجة. فى نور! فى نور خارج من حزب؟ فى تصريحات منسوبة الى شخص... فى اتهامات للجبهة اياها. و بالتالى فالسلطة ناقصة و الصورة غير مكتلمة. الصندوق قلقان من الموضوع ده. بس الطرف اللى مش اخر مرتاح و مطمن. الصندوق برضه مش مطمن و القرائات كتيرة. بس محدش فاهم حاجة...

الحديث بسيط... بمعنى ان فى ضبابية بس مرئية و محسوسة... الارقام كتيرة و مهمة بس بيقولو متقدرش تشيل الشيلة دى لوحدها.... عالعموم و من حيث المبدأ الصندوق مطلوب... بيقولو... بس مش هو الحل. الصندوق حيحطنا على الطريق... من حيث المبدأ تانى البعض معندوش مشكلة مع الحوار مع الصندوق... الصندوق بيقول عكس كده... اصلهم زى اللى بيدوروا على نقطة سودا فى اوضه مضلمة... و الصندوق غالبا اسود... و الوضة ضلمة كحل.

Friday, 12 April 2013

بالنسبة لبكرة؟

عن مشروع حياة و صراع ابدى مع الوقت... كان يا اما بينتصر الانسان على الوقت و اما الوقت هو اللى بينتصر. يعنى يا اما بتنجز شئ بالرغم من الوقت و اما الوقت بينجز و يمر بالرغم منك. لا انت بتستنى الوقت و لا الوقت بيستناك.

شئ  من الغموض و الخوف بيكونوا دائما حاضرين نتيجة بكرا...
بالنسبة لبكرة؟ و اللى بيضيع او بيخفف الاحساس بالخوف من بكره هو الانشغال بحاجات تانية بنعيشها فى حاضرنا و كل يوم... الجرى و را الؤمة و من اللئمة... ممكن كمان محاولة اشباع حالات و رغبات و احتياجات.... حب او حتى كره.  ممكن طموح  و اهداف... و ظيفة العمر... فتاة الاحلام اوالفارس اللى عالحصان او يمكن الحصان اللى عالفارس... ممكن روتين او محاولة تلبية طموحات الاهل فيك و فيا و انك تدخل فى المقاس اللى مفصلهولك المجتمع لشكل حياة تبدو مثالية . المهم هو الانشغال عن ذلك السؤال بكل الاحوال.  المهم انك متفكرش و تسال نفسك خير؟ بالنسبة لبكرة؟ لان بكره من الغيب و الانسان جاهل بالغيب و بنعادى الغريب و المجهول. اشترى انهاردة و ابعد عن بكرة و غنيله.

Friday, 5 April 2013


يلعن الشاعر عالمشاعر و الساعة اياها و يلعن اللاعن عال ملاعن مش نقصاها! يعنى الامر عجيب...
خلونا نقول... ناس ماتقدرش تعيش معاهم و لا تقدر تستنى بلاهم و رغما عن كل ده... شايل  قرفهم و تعبهم و بلاهم بس لا مؤاخذه الجزمة لا مؤاخذة فى بقك و لا مؤاخذه الليمونة عاصرها على نفسك و مستحمل... طب ليه؟ يعنى مش كفايه عليه همى اللى فايض منى و باظظ و ان كنت فاكر ان كده كتير خد عندك هم اهلك و هم اصحابك و هم شغلك و مراتك و وولادك لو كان فى و هم الحاره عالشارع عال بلد علي و عليكو , و عاللى يتشددلنا احنا التنين. و اخر النهار يطلعلك مشروع انسان ربنا يسامحه  ينغص عليك عيشتك بكلمة اوحركة و اللى البطحة على راسه اهو بيحسس... و اللى كافى خيره شره اهو ساكت لا بيه و لاعليه. يعنى محدش قلبه عليك؟ حتى اللى طلعنا بيه اهو طلع قرعة و الصلعة لامعة. لكن الواحد بيقول معلش... مهو لولا الطالع اللى فى النازل و الهابط اللى فى الصاعد كان رسم قلبى اتعدل بس كنت ابقى ميت. و يجى بسلامته ساعتها يبتسم فى وش اهلى و يقول " الحمد لله... العملية نجحت بس للاسف المريض مات."

Thursday, 4 April 2013

Totality and Compromise

Welcome to the ward of secrets and totality, for i believe not in perfection only in totality. The totality is the summation, it is the relation and the equation. To complement is to create the totality but to sacrifice is a lame attempt to resemble someone in order for them to see themselves in your own image, and when they do they  discover how ugly they look like, how sad and depressed they are, this is when they will reject you, thinking it is you, yet it is their own reflection. This is what you get out of compromises, for there is not a single promising aspect of it. Speaking of totality is the understanding of differences and understanding that totality comes with diversity and the summing up of this diversity in order to create a new genuine oneness.

Saturday, 23 March 2013

Looking back at my trauma

So let me share with you what it feels like to go through Trauma. To be traumatized of one experience, no matter what it is, or what the details of the story are, it is a trauma that marked my life. Let alone the stress that you live after that experience, or what is commonly referred to as post-traumatic stress.

The fear of death is devastating, it eats off of you. I have been through that, unfortunately i did not understand what was happening, all i knew was that suddenly, my life was taking another path. It doesn't really matter what it is that made me so close to death, it wouldn't matter, for what matters is the impact and the effect of this fear that i went through. I found myself helpless and powerless, and watched my life slip through my hands, and go down the drain. I couldn't eat, i couldn't sleep, i couldn't think, i couldn't cry, i couldn't speak, i couldn't act, i couldn't live... That is what i remember from that time. I went through what were to be the scariest days of my life so far (and i ask god they never return), yet it was all happening in the brain. That was where the control room was, that was where the manager stayed. Life around me was going on normally  yet mine stood there frozen. I could not "get over " what was happening. I found my body degrading, found myself so tired and exhausted, and it was all because i was over thinking .. I over-thought everything it, the life, the death, the health, the sickness. Everything was magnified. It wouldn't get any better. Everything was just growing bigger. The fear was taking over my life, the drama was becoming all i knew. The sadness and the hopelessness was all i owned at the time.

Something though happened. A spark ignited in the darkness i lived  in. Suddenly everything stopped for a split of a second. That was my chance i believe. I took a deep breath. This is when i started fighting back. I wanted to get out of all of that. I wanted to live. Once very uncaring of the life i had because of a stupid emotional issue, something to do with some lost love, now i found myself wanting to live more than ever. Fighting so hard yet with no power. I had lost it all in a few days earlier dwelling in my own pain and misery. Everything that once worried me or made me unhappy sounded so trivial and seemed unworthy of a second of thought in my life. Suddenly everyone whom i cared about that had hurt me intentionally or not mattered less to me, or didn't at all. All that was left was me. That was when i realized that it all narrows down to ones self. After all, no one was there for me, and even those who were, never understood what i was going through. To them i was "over-reacting". That was when the "screw all of you" moment came to me. Suddenly, i was so unwilling to care about anyone anymore that i would pleasantly shout "fuck you" to anyone in-front of me who remotely pissed me of.

I thankfully got through it, yet i must say not very smoothly, but at least i am over it. The fear of death has had a huge impact over me that i cannot even start explaining, for all what i have said is only a shell. I must say though that looking back at these few weeks, everything changed in my life. I learned for the first time to understand myself more, and to appreciate myself more, and to love myself more. I learned that i must care for me before i do for others. I learned that it is all in the brain, whether being happy or being sad. I also stood astonished in front of the human brain, with all its power, and the extent of ability it has, which can actually go all the way to self destruction. I also learned that over thinking creates problems. It creates problems out of nothing, it feeds on illusions. It breaks rather than makes. And i learnt how to thank God for every breath i take, and be there for people in need, for i once was, and i know what it is like.

Thank god.

Saturday, 2 February 2013

Presence of an angel...

I was just sitting there staring at my own hands. Something about them seemed so right, so perfect. They were telling me something i didn't really understand. He walked in from a door that stood opened or closed behind me, that i could not recall. It was as though my guardian angel has walked in. Someone i don't know yet i felt i knew very well, very familiar with, well acquainted with, he was a friend i never knew.

I started talking my heart out, nothing stopped me, everything just seemed to flow easily and simply, i said things, expressed things and then the moment i just finished what i had to say, i sat quietly much more comfortable then i first was. A few seconds flew between my last words and his first. He started talking to me and explaining why things were the way they were, not much of what he said i can recall and only a few i can actually say or express, yet all was comforting as i remember. Every word seemed perfectly well said, and fell in place, every word answered a specific question in my mind, and every word the mouth hasn't expressed was said through the eyes. It seemed so simple, everything seemed okay before i even knew it.

To my own fortune it is that i don't remember the details, for this is where the devil is! I only remember how i felt before and after, how relieved i was, and how relaxed it felt to be around this person who could read the very hidden secrets of the soul and answer your every question without making you feel awkward or strange or even exposed.

To the presence that has been around me yesterday i give a big thank you and all my gratitude.

Thursday, 20 December 2012

لا حقيقة في الظل
ابن عربي

من قلب غادة المعايطة الدلابيح... الدائرة

دائرة ..دوائر .. الساعة دائرة .. القمر المكتمل في ليلة صافية ..دائرة ..
الشمس الخجلى بين غيوم الشتاء ..
دائرة ..

طبق طعامي وطعامك ..دائرة ..
مقلة العين التي تعشق كل جميل ..دائرة ..
القلب في الحشا له دورته الدمويه التي تجعلني اراك وأشعر بك واتعاطف معك ..
تبدأ المضغة دائرة في الرحم .. وتتنهي بدائرة من الأحبة يودعونها رحم الأرض ..
طوافون من طين ونور حول الكعبة في دوران لا يتوقف في الأرض .. وفي السماء ..
كواكب تدور في افلاكها .. واقمار تدور تدور تدور ..

ويدور الانسان في دائرة ... قدر حجمها .. محيطها .. قطرها ..ومن يسبح في فلكها نفسا
 نفسا .. و ساعة انقضاءه أجلها ..خالق الأكوان ..
وتحسب أنك جرم صغير .....وفيك أنطوى العالم الأكبر ...
اثناء تجواله بإزقة مدينة قونية في وسط الأناضول سمع جلال الدين الرومي دقات مطرقة صانع الذهب ومع كل إسم الجلالة يدوي ويخترق قلب الرومي فبدأ يدور ... يدور ..يدور ....وأدور ..
أدور ...أدور .....

غادة المعايطة الدلابيح

Tuesday, 18 December 2012

Old is Gold

It brings me hope and faith to sit and listen to all the intimidating stories my grandmother tell. And as much as I hear them over and over again they never sound old or boring to me. Stories told with passion sincerity and charisma, too real and true. Stories which give you an insight to a persons life, one you never thought they existed, it opens new doors to existence and brings far history against your own eyes.. My grandmother is the most spectacular story teller i have ever met...

The one...

      Hundreds of religions around the world,  hundreds of sects in each religion, all speak of unity and becoming one... yet we are still divided.... but why?
We all live a big lie, we lie and believe our own lies...

Monday, 3 September 2012

The Piano...

          I remember the times when the most i could think of or ask for was having a piano. The times when a piano was all i aimed for, my one and only desire. I used to wonder where i'd put it, what color it would be, and how it would look like.... That was all i aspired. I had not yet known all the miseries and pleasures of life that awaited me. I grew old faster than i could grasp or notice. It was as though i had slept and woken up the following day twenty years older. Critical times where a few inches away from me as i lay quietly in my summer bed thinking of the piano... Lurking beside my innocent bed they patiently wait for me to shut my eyes...

Wednesday, 29 February 2012

أنا دريم- غادة المعايطة الدلابيح

أنا دريم روح سوي عمره ..أنا هاوس ماما اندونيسيا بنتين صغيرين ...أنا روح شغل برا مشان بنتين ..هازبند انا موتي ...ماما كبير ..بنتي صغير عاوز انا ..أنا توبي روح عمره ..أنا عمان تلاته مره اختم قرآن ..بابا أنت مدام غاده يناديني أم جهوه ...بنتي انا صغير اسمها جهوة ...بنتي ثاتي انا اسمها الأسوة الحسنة ..أنا قول بدي لما أرجع اندونيسيا سوي مطعم أم جهوة ...انا دريم صغير سوي مطعم ام جهوه ...أنا دريم كبير كبير سوي حج مدام غادة ..سوي حج ..سوي حج ...
شربت قهوتي باردة وأنا استمع إلى كاتي فيما نؤكد أنها بشر من لحم ودم ...وروح تعبة ..نواقة لراحة أبدية ....في كعبة ...حجر اسود ....أنا دريم .....

Sunday, 5 February 2012

الست دي هي مصر

مر مجموعة من الناس بامرأه تغرق في البحر

فرفض السلفى مد يده لانقاذها لأنه متوضئ

وأصر الإخوانجى على إستئذان المرشد العام أولا

واشترط شاب من ٦ إبريل موافقة 130ائتلاف من ائتلافات شباب الثورة على الأقل قبل انقاذها

ونصحها الليبرالى أن تخلع كل هدومها عشان تبقى خفيفة وتقب علي وش الميه

وطالب أحد ثوار التحرير بعمل مليونية الجمعة المقبل باسم "جمعة انقاذ الفتاه التي تغرق"

فيما أكد كل من في العباسية انها لو ماتت تبقى غريقة مش شهيدة و تسألو هي إيه إلي نزلها 

المية أصلاً ؟؟

وأكد تامر بتاع غمرة إن سمعها بتنادي بانجلش لانجويدج عشان حد ينقذها.

وبكى الجنزورى وهو يعتذر لأن أبو العربى لسه مابعتش العوامة.

وانتفض البرادعي وأخرج الأي باد وكتب على حسابه على تويتر "كرامة المرأه فى حقها فى الحياة"

وقالت نواره نجم وأسماء محفوظ أن المجلس العسكري هو من قام باغراق السيده وهو المسئول 

عن انقاذها...

وقال مرتضى منصور أنه يمتلك سي دي لهذه السيدة المنحلة وأنها على علاقة بممدوح عباس 

وأحمد شوبير...

وأكد توفيق عكاشه أن نزولها للبحر هو أحد طقوس الماسونية العالمية وطالب من زملائه البط 

التواجد فالعباسية للتصدي للمؤامرة المدبرة من هذه السيدة

وأكد وزير الداخلية إن معندناش بحر أصلاً

أما المجلس العسكرى فشكل لجنة تقصى حقائق لمعرفة الطرف الثالث إللي زقها فى الميه!

للأسف الشديد .. الست دي هي مصر